


Empathy

by sephira, vasglass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Psychology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-02-29 11:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18777244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephira/pseuds/sephira, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vasglass/pseuds/vasglass
Summary: Caught after the invasion of New York, Loki languishes in a cage in the bunker of S.H.I.E.L.D. Little by little he starts to loose his mind under the pressure of the flood of memories about tortures from Thanos. Tony and the others are watching him through the security cameras. One day Tony realizes that he can't spend a day without visiting the observation room.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Эмпатия](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/480343) by sephira. 



> (you can find the original work on ficbook.net)
> 
>  
> 
> Empathy - the capacity to understand other people's feelings and willingness to provide them with emotional support. Empathy involves the ability to place yourself in the another's position, the ability to empathize, the ability to perceive the inner world of another accurately while maintaining emotional and semantic shades.
> 
> It's like you become this another, but not fully, staying yourself at the same time: this is what enables empathy to be reasonable.

Loki was laying limp on the floor, seeming to be clutching at the last straw of sanity. Sobbing restrained and occasionally, he was nervously fidgeting and picking his fingers with his nails. The trail of tears had dried and was glistening on his cheek. He buried his forehead in his palm and tried to align his breath. His body could not stand the tremor – in order to steady himself he clamped one of his hands between his knees, pulled up to his chest. His leather clothes combined with such a miserable state looked, to put it mildly, weird. It’s unlikely that Loki wanted someone to come and reassure him, hug or comfort him. Probably he wanted to stay alone and try to collect all the pieces of himself together. He was balancing on the edge, the moment when one really starts to hear voices and physically try to drive them away. One starts to lose one’s mind. A person probably does look like a psycho, waving their arms, chasing away invisible flies, and then, trying to sob as quietly as possible, huddling in a corner and hiding in their own shadow.

It was not the first time Tony had watched all this action through surveillance cameras. Jarvis sometimes commented on the god’s state for him. The engineer didn’t say anything, just frowned. Thor sometimes looked at Tony blankly. Natasha was anxiously whispering something to Clint, who suddenly grabbed his bow, but the spy restrained his impulse. They weren’t really worried because Tony didn’t have access to Loki’s cage. Not even to the room where the cage was. Banner was just sighing at that and Pepper was saying: “Tony and no access? What are you even talking about? Pff”. Having excellent eyesight, Clint and Steve noticed the barely quickened but well-controlled breathing of Tony as he once again was watching Thor’s brother going mad.

   - _He’s not his brother,_ \- Tony once thoughtfully said.

It made everyone frown, and Thor just strangled the hilt of Mjolnir. But no one did anything – Hulk would not allow it.

Tony knew he wasn’t allowed to the bunker hosting Loki’s cage. But he didn’t understand why. Maybe he was the only person Loki could have a normal conversation with, maybe even an agreement. This is what the Avengers, especially Fury, perhaps were afraid of. 

The engineer continued to watch Loki’s suffering. The fallen god was still seeing nightmares. Almost no one visited him, except for silent Fury, reproachfully staring Steve and suspiciously examining him Natasha. One day Loki asked: “Where is Stark?” He didn’t even know who came to him. At that moment, the engineer and the other Avengers were watching the god through surveillance cameras. Tony was a little confused. He wasn’t the only one on the team who didn’t visit Loki. Stark was standing with his back to everyone, so no one could see the confusion on his face. He didn’t really want to know how people were looking at him. He was flattered that this star bastard remembered him. It was urgent to laugh it off, otherwise his colleagues would come up with something. But nothing came to his mind.

_“God, why me?”_

_\- I guess I’m the only person that he likes, because I tried to negotiate first,_ \- Stark grunted and retreated to the workshop.

Sometimes Stark left his workshop to look at Loki in the observation room and drink coffee. Sometimes he did it instead of coffee.

Pepper once said:

   _-Hmm, looks like Loki’s doing some good – you come out of the workshop to get some air, don’t drink coffee so often and don’t drink whiskey at all, which is the strangest thing._

Tony smiled wryly and said nothing.

   _“If only you knew why I don’t drink whiskey or any other alcohol, at all. I won’t control myself. I’ll whine like a girl. I’ll beg Fury to let Loki out. I’ll be convincing Thor that his brother still loves him. I’ll get into my suit and try to break    Loki’s cage down”. – Tony winced painfully. Pathetic image. It was unacceptable to drink in their presence._

One night, mired again into work, Tony decided to “get some air”. His concentration was enough for a couple of hours, and then his thoughts returned to the emotional wreck in the cage. It was like a weird form of addiction. He needed to see him. This time Stark decided to get inside, come closer and look at him not through the camera, but through the thick glass. 

Mysteriously smiling, Stark was surprised by the amount of his joy.

   _“Fucking junkie!”_

_-Jarvis?_

_-Sir, no,_ \- he answered calmly to the unasked question.

Tony immediately straightened up and opened his mouth in surprise.

   - _No? Jarvis, I haven’t said anything yet._

_-You have thought, sir._

_-Have you learned to read minds?_ – Stark was seriously frightened.

   _-No, sir. But I’m cool at logical thinking._

Tony smiled at the colloquial word his invention had used.

   _-Okay, then I’ll ask – why “no”?_

_-You are putting yourself in danger, unreasonably, groundlessly. You have no protection. You have no access._

_-Hm, but I want it. I’m not going into the cage itself, honestly._

_-Alas, it will not last for long, sir._

_-Addiction?_

_-I thought about it too, sir._

Now Tony was worried.

   _-Jarvis? Have you told anyone about your thoughts?_

_-No, sir. Not in my power, sir._

_-Good boy. So, will you help me break through the security?_

_-Do I have a choice?_

_-Don’t sass back, Jarvis, I’ll give you to the young programmers._

_\- No, please forgive me, sir! Type “idiot Stark” in the password box._

_-Jarvis?! You’re kidding, right?_

_-I’m afraid not, sir. This password was created by the Avengers as your last warning._

_-How witty,_ \- Stark thought.So they assumed he’d go where he wasn’t supposed to. They knew and they wanted to watch. If he would erase the camera records and cheat with the log, trying to hide the fact of his stay in the bunker, it will be quite suspicious. He’s not going to do anything, not even talk to Loki. He’ll just come in and take a look. There’s nothing to hide.

   _-I can’t type this, Jarvis. Do for me._

_-Oh, sir, I’m asking for a permission to decline. It’s too much of an honor._

_-JARVIS?_

_-I’m silent, sir._ – And he quietly entered the password. The lock tinkled and hissed as it opened.

   _-Jarvis, did you know the password from the beginning?_

_-Yes, sir._

_-But why..?_

_-You didn’t ask, sir._

_“Fucking sh*%$#”_


	2. Chapter 2

The bunker was dark, there was only a light glow from the control console and the camera lights. Tony walked around the cage, staying in the shadows, and finally he caught a glimpse of a sleeping body. A hand, a chin, a trail of tears. But right now the god was calm. Stark did not believe that he had finally come here after so many months, to the place where he was not allowed. He did not understand why it was so easy to get in.

Whether or not was Loki sleeping, Tony tried to stay unnoticed anyway. He was like a naughty child who opened the gift too early, creeping in the night to the Christmas tree.

   _“Oh, but it is such a gift… God, what the hell am I thinking about?!”_

Tony did not understand why he was so stuck on the rebellious god. The most unpleasant part – the said god didn’t care about the human. Although…

   _“He asked about me once”,_ Stark reminded himself.

It is like when you are a kid – there is always an outstanding character among all the children.  Everyone wants to be friends with him or her. That person is like a magnet, everybody likes him. You, on the other hand, are not the most popular of kids, nobody pays attention to you. And this fact only increases the feeling three times stronger. You want to be noticed most of all. Want to be his or her best friend.

   _“Dear God, but what makes my hands tremble? Coffee? Lack of sleep? Loki?”_

In that moment god’s eyelids trembled and he suddenly stared straight into Tony’s eyes, as if he knew where to shoot his glance.

   _“Wow! Shouldn’t I be hidden in this corner? Okay, two can play this game. What’s next, Gandalf?”_

Usually Loki did not pay attention to the visitors, being in a trance of his own thoughts. But now he was deliberately looking into Stark’s eyes. Tony did not give up either, staring right back. Only he did not quite understand this game. Tony had time to think: “What a pity Loki isn’t a woman, such eyes, such delicate fingers…”

All of a sudden, the broken god slowly and sincerely smiled with the corner of his mouth and closed his eyes, settling more comfortably to sleep.

   _“What was that?”_ Stark thought frantically, deciding not to leave as quietly as he had entered.

This short visit took Tony’s thirst away for a long time. For four days. It was a long time for him, considering that Tony did not go to the surveillance room either. During this time, Tony had an opportunity to think about many things. Much to assume and to dismiss. But the main question has remained opened.

   _“Why? – He is interesting”._

_“I’m not boring myself. Aren’t there many of those ‘interesting’? – Just him”._

_“Is this a reason to go and stare at him at night in secret from everyone? ? – …”._

_“Nothing to answer? – I thought you’d help me.”_  

 

***

 

 _\- Tony has been kind of quite lately. Unusual for him,_ \- Thor said dramatically.

   _\- He’s probably thinking about the “L” project,_ \- Clint joked.

   _\- Yes, Legolas.  – Tony said, putting and extra stress on “L”. I’m thinking about my L-ate suit. How to improve it. Fucking wag_.

 

The others were vainly trying to hide their smirks.

Tony did not like when people began to notice the changes in him. Why would it seems strange to them that he was deep in thoughts, which in turn made him quite? He simply had no time to chat. He was either working or struggling with his personal addiction because he knew that if he succumbed to it, it would change him and engulf his being. Certainly, the Avengers did not need to know that last part.

 

   _\- He refused to have a beer with me yesterday,_ \- Thor said resentfully, - _which is a very strange behavior for brave men._

Tony mentally face-palmed and decided that it was time to retire.

   _\- Wait! What? Tony? You stopped drinking?_ – Steve walked up to him and grabbed him by the shoulder. – _Why didn’t you tell me? That’s great!_

 _\- Because you’re bored of being the only one non-drinker here?_ – Stark tried to laugh it off. – _Look, you’ve got quite a strong grip there._

_All of the stares turned to Stark, taking it as a cue to something exiting to occur._

_\- Rogers, haven’t you noticed? His cheeks became rosy from a healthy lifestyle!_ – teased Natasha. – _There’s only a little lack of sleep left, right, Stark?_ – She said smiling mysteriously while looking pointedly at him.

   _“Okay, that’s not good”._

_Tony felt he was losing his grip._

_\- Steve, this is NOT great. It means something happened to Tony,_ \- Pepper summed it up sternly, coming out of nowhere.

   _\- Tony?_ – Steve wanted to hear a confirmation.

   _\- What kind of people are you?_ – Tony said in mock surprise as he forced himself out of Rogers’ hold. – _I’m drinking – bad. I go on a bender – something happened. I quit drinking – something happened again! It’s impossible to please you._ – After a short pause, he added: - _I’m going to the workshop – to deal with the “L” project!_ – he snapped sarcastically. Then suddenly an idiotic thought came to mind. The kind of thoughts that like to appear out of nowhere and do all the thinking themselves: “ ’L’ also stands for ‘love’ “.

 _“Fu@# &” _– Tony mentally outraged.


	3. Chapter 3

   _\- He didn’t answer the question,_ \- Steve said after a minute of silence.

   _\- I've noticed,_ \- Banner said. - _What’s this?_ – He asked Natasha, who passed by and shoved a piece of paper into his hands.

She gestured at the sheet, obviously expecting the doctor’s reaction. He looked down at the paper in confusion.

   _\- Log of visits to the bunker with Loki’s cage? – Bruce was a little confused._

She nodded. Everyone was immediately up, joining the conversation.

   _\- Read. See something unusual? – The spy tried to hint._

_\- Hm… Well… No! Natasha, I’m not a detective or a spy! What is it?_

_\- 5:32 A.M._

_\- So?_

_\- Did any of us go there at that time?_ – Natasha asked a question, which was obviously rhetorical.

There was no answer, everyone just looked at each other and realized that no, no one did.

   _\- Stark was finally ready, so he forced Jarvis to give him the password._

_\- He did not torment me that much, agent._

_\- Yeah? Here I thought he’d give us a show of torture you to persuade you to open the door._

_\- No, he was very restrained. Sir was also surprised that I knew the password all this time and he “admired” its originality._

_\- I bet Loki won’t turn him in._

_\- Clint? What makes you think Loki’s gonna cover for him? – The red-haired questioned._

_\- Because these two are up to something._

Everyone nodded.

  _\- And what if they’re not, but he won’t tell anyway?_ – Steve assumed, which only made Clint to shrug showing lack of ideas.

   - _I don’t think we should ask Loki. What would it look like: “Hey, we can’t keep track on one of the Avengers here, didn’t he come to you by any chance?”_

 _\- I agree,_ \- Banner nodded.

   _\- And what if we ask him what he and Stark were talking about?_ – Steve suggested.

   - _It will be suspicious too, but I wonder what he will say to that,_ \- Natasha concluded.

 

***

_\- Tony._

_\- Hi, doc,_ \- he smiled sincerely. Doctor Banner was visibly nervous.

   _\- You did visit Loki._ – It was not even a question.

   _\- This conversation is over, doc, bye._ \- Tony said harshly.

   - _Tony, I’m not trying to lecture you._

   - And will you interrogate?

   - _Maybe just a little,_ \- Banner tried.

_\- No. – Tony said. He really did not have anything to say even if he tried to be honest or even if he tried to lie._

_\- Tony, they all know that you’ve been there,_ \- the scientist tried to reason with his friend.

   _\- I figured,_ \- Tony said calmly, not stopping to solder the armor wiring.

   - _You weren’t really hiding._ – Again, not a question.

   _\- You’d found out anyway. Why so much effort?_

_\- Nah, if you’d done a good job with Jarvis, we wouldn’t. And you know that._

_\- I have nothing to hide THAT much. And this genius,_ \- Stark casually waved his hand at the ceiling, - _is able to turn me in “for security reasons”,_ \- engineer mimicked.

   _-Sir?!_ – The electronic voice was indignant.

   - _Don’t even try to make excuses._

 _\- I’m silent, sir,_ \- the AI obediently fell quiet.

   _\- Did you talk to him?_

_This really smelled like interrogation and Tony did not like it._

_\- Just watch the video or ask him yourself._

_\- From the video it seems you didn’t. But Loki could communicate mentally?_ – Banner assumed. – _He’s a mage._

_\- Exactly. And he’s wearing magic-proof handcuffs… - The engineer pointed out the obvious._

_\- So you would like to talk to him?_

Tony dropped his hands and straightened up, looking at the doctor in astonishment and irony.

   - _Did you just try to catch me? Of course, I did not want to just stare at him! He would be interesting to talk to._

 _\- But you were just looking at him,_ \- Banner reminded him.

   - _I was there for one minute!_

_-Three minutes and twenty six seconds. – The doctor corrected like it mattered._

_\- You little bitch!_ – Stark jokingly insulted his friend.

_-You were just looking at each other. – He was digging for more as if he was feeling there was more to it._

_\- Okay, Freud, what do you want to tell me? I’m having a little trouble keeping up._

_\- You’ve been like that for a couple of months._

Tony could not stand it anymore.

   _\- Look, doc, I respect you and appreciate your scientific input, but you’ve become completely brazen and you’re bothering me with questions that I don’t understand, which I find even more annoying. If you want to tell me something – do it and stop beating around the bush with your perverted psycho-questions, you fucking analyst!_

Banner swallowed nervously several times, his eyes were rounding. He folded his hands in one of the pressure-lowering poses and was trying to breathe evenly.

   _\- Oh Fuck, no! Doc, wait! Shhh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Get a hold of yourself. Try to remember some yoga mantra. C’mon. Come on, breath easy, shhh. In,_ \- Stark breathed in, - _and out,_ \- he breathed out along with Bruce. _– Good, very good. Holy shit,_ \- Stark muttered to himself this time. While wiping the sweat from his forehead, he flopped into a chair.

One crisis taken care of.

   _\- I want to ask for an official permission to talk to Loki._

After finally regaining his breath, Banner replied:

   _- **You**? **You** are going to ask Fury?_

_\- He’ll be surprised. And he’ll be waltzing around._

_\- He won’t allow it._

_\- But why!? Why am I so objectionable? You’re pushing me to break in! You want to find a reason to put me away too or to deprive me of “title” of the Avenger?_ – Tony revealed by the gesture that the word ‘title’ was in the quotation marks.

   _\- And what do you want to find out? He’s still not reacting to anyone._

_\- But you’ve seen yourself that he reacted to me!_

_\- That’s true. Maybe this is exactly the reason why you’re not allowed to visit him?_

_\- So you don’t know?_ – Stark clarified.

   - _No,_ \- Bruce admitted.

   _\- Doesn’t Fury want to interrogate this asshole?_ – It sounded way too lovingly out of Tony’s mouth.

   - _I have no idea, I don’t look into their espionage business._

After a pause, doc continued:

   _\- You’re gonna break in to talk to him no matter what, right?_

_-I didn’t say that._

_\- Maybe that’s why Fury doesn’t trust you – because you don’t follow his orders._

_\- I’m not his subordinate!_

_\- We are the Avengers. The Initiative is under his command. – Bruce reminded._

_-Pff!_

_\- And because of that too, Tony!_

_\- What is he afraid of? What can I do with Loki?_

_\- Or for Loki._

_\- What? – Stark asked not believing his ears._

_\- That’s exactly it – he can’t imagine what kind of danger you are._

_\- I’m surrounded by cowards,_ \- Stark said, annoyed.

_\- Caution has never hurt anyone. Admit it, you find Loki interesting?_

_“I feel sorry for him”_

   _\- Don’t you?_ – Tony asked in amazement.

   _\- Well, not as much as you do._

 _\- Oh, now let’s see whose dick is bigger! –_ Stark joked.

Doc laughed softly.

   _\- Don’t do anything stupid. – Doctor Banner said sighing._

 _\- Are you blessing me?_ – Tony could not believe his ears.

   _-I don’t like to put a spoke in the wheel. For me, your only stupidity is to die when “you were warned!”_

Tony smiled and patted doc on the shoulder.


End file.
